Friday, January 28, 2011

Sooooooooo Big!!!

Well, it's been a bit since I updated this blog...I gotta get more routine with this. Its certainly not that I don't want to...I want to have an archive to look back on, but sometimes life just gets so crazy! We had our 3 month well baby check up today! Liam is doing so well! He is 14.14lbs, 26 and 1/4 inches long! He's wearing 6 month clothing now, what a big boy! He has graduated from doing his favorite "Soooo big" so actual laughing! I gave him peas for the first time the other day and he gagged...personally I don't blame him, I dislike peas also. We are trying to get him in the mood for cereal, but so far it is not working. When we went to the doc today, she asked me if I tasted the cereal. I said, "No...Why?" She said, "Taste it...you tell me why he doesn't like it!" So, I did...and I don't blame him. Talk about wet cardboar...ewwww, I am sorry I gave it to him like that1 Dr. Crocker suggested adding banana, pear or apple to it, so I bought a few different fruits to try. I'm excited to feed him with a spoon. He shows such an interest in his bottle now. His lips get going as soon as he sees it and he gives me this little anxious whine when we sit. As soon as I put his bib on he knows what time it is, he knows food is a-comin'! He's showing some brains already! I started reading to him, he just smacks at the book and eventually begins to whine, but I figure that it is better than nothing! I have always loved to read, always had a great vocabulary and enjoyed writing stories, so i would like to start him young! He has ceased the all out scream-fest that accompanies bath time...still isn't so psyched about it, but he only cries when the water gets chilly, which for Mr. McHeater, means it is still quite warm. He is the warmest little baby...he likes to be cool, but loves his bath hot. When the little duckie temperature sensor says it is too hot, that is where Liam likes it. I think part of his hissy fit was that the water wasn't hot enough...
     His toes are on the mend...I have been doing a bandage change twice daily, which to my surprise has been pleasant. i don't think they hurt anymore. I have been giving him his paci, but I noticed that it is causing blisters in his mouth, so I have backed off to only giving it at toe-time in the evening. I will be on cloud nine when I don't have to work so extensively on his toes...Baths are taking a little over an hour, and it is such a routine now that he is compliant. He only minds when there are too many people restraining him. But, he is so active, such a little wiggler, that sometimes I need help. When I do him during the daytime, strangely enough, he is perfectly still! His hemangioma is still driving me bonkers. The stupid thing is huge now...but believe it or not, Daddy had a better dressing technique and a smooth, shiny sheath is now growing over the fresh wound bed, this is a blessing! maybe the little man can finally poop without screaming. Now, his fingers are another story. They are not getting any better. He still clenches his fists, and until he relaxes a little, I am on constant boo-boo patrol. I am trying really hard to find that balance of moisture and dryness, I am trying really hard to restrain myself from putting his "sock-gloves" on, I really think they may be doing more harm than good.
     I was staring at him today and thinking how much he has changed me life...how much he has taught me how to love. I can't imagine life without him. He brings me so much joy and elation. He gave me a real belly laugh last night and it melted me. When I look at him, I feel so bonded and attached. I don't understand how mothers abandon their children. I don't understand how someone could hurt something so precious. He loves me so much. I see it in his smile, feel it in his touch. He lights up when I talk to him...he goes limp in my arms from the safety of my touch. I really don't understand how someone could jeopardize this kind of love for ANYTHING in the world. Nothing is more precious and dear to me than my baby boy. It is a love like no other. I am devastated when I have to leave him...I don't wanna miss a moment of his little life. He is my buddy...we make each other laugh without words. I never get tired of being with him, every moment we spend together is more meaningful than the last. The best part of this is...i know he loves and trusts me with all his heart. I am all he knows. I am his protector, his nurturer, his support. I am his world, I am all he knows. His Daddy and I are the most important things to him...and I know this will fade, therefore I am taking in every second. I am cherishing every moment. I am living in the present, and I am always one step ahead, watching my every move, to be sure that it is in the best interest of my little baby boy. Being a mother has has such a profound effect on me. I was so self gratifying, now I barely even consider myself. Every move I make is supported by an entire thought process, weighing every option, monitoring every emotion, watching my footing so I don't slip into selfishness...making sure I am selfless for Liam. I never pictured myself like this. I am truly proud of the mommy I have become. When I look at Liam, I see life. I see the happiness I have been searching for. I understand the meaning of my existence, I know why I am here. He is my sunshine, he is my reprieve from the constant negativity I harbored for so long. This little human being has made me into the person I always wanted to be...I can't even remember who I was before he came into my life. I am so excited to raise him into the man he will become...he is so sweet and so special. Well...I have a snuggler that would like to redeem his snuggles, so I must be off...don't forget to tell your most important people that you love them...tomorrow is not promised, live like all you have is today!

3 comments:

  1. Ohhh Melissa this is sooo awesome!!! I knew from the very moment you announced your pregnancy that it had "already" changed your life...and i also knew in my heart and soul that you were gonna be a great mommy!!! and WOW...i'm totally blown away by your commitment and love towards your precious little boy!!! I an sooo happy for you...I did kind of something like this when Ashley was born...computers weren't as big than but I wrote in a journal every day and took monthly pics...i'm actually going to take it out and read it tonight...i'm really looking forward to reading more of this...I love it!!! Thanks for sharing this with evryone...it made my night...much love and big hugs and kisses to u all!!!xoxoxox

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  2. I am tickled and touched by the LOVE pouring out of you, woman. You are contagious. Our ability to allow another life to reflect the love within us is divine. Love, in its infinte forms, reaches into the core of us and pulls out our vulnerability and bravery and shows us our capacity and in those moments we FEEL God. And it is good.

    As for those that abandon their children...not all are primed and prepared to open their hearts or be depended on... Fear of failure, inadequacy, and impending sacrifice strangles the heartstrings and deadens the bond. It is sad, but creates the balance so that open hearts, such as yours, can be honored and revered.

    ~Dusty

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  3. Hi Melissa: Wow what an update. I take for granted that you kinda like your son. Only Kidding, I know how you feel. A mothers love for their child is like no other. They do complete us, don't they?
    You are a terrific Mommy and Liam is so blessed to have you as his Mommy. Take care and give that precious son of yours a hug for me. Love and Hugs Leah's Nana

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