Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Keeping way tooooo busy...

I know, I know...its been a while...I think about blogging everyday, but between school and Mr. Liam, I just can't seem to find the time! So, while he cat naps I am going to try to update!

Life has been treating us really, really well. Liam is tipping the scales at over 18 pounds and is now about 29 inches. He is wearing 12-18 month clothes and he is only 6 and a half months! He is doing so well. Sitting almost all on his own, playing with all his toys (and whatever else you put in front of him!) and chatting like crazy. We had a relapse on his voice about a month ago, he started getting hoarse again, and is now back on his breathing treatment and reflux med. BOY, what a difference. He does this sing-songy high pitched chatter, it is the cutest thing! He is so alert and engaged in what he does lately, when he concentrates he drools puddles! He is just such a happy baby, so full of life and love. It is getting easier to make him laugh...it doesn't take much to make him smile though. He smiles at the dog, the cat, the fish, the lamp, the ON DEMAND channel, his bottle, and of course his family. He has a new obsession with windchimes...likes hearing them and making them play music. They catch is attention even when he is inside and in hearing distance! He is just a doll, he really is. I am so blessed. He has truly made the past 6 months the best time in my life...he has taught me so much about really living. I just can't get over how fast he is growing. His hands and feet are so chubby and big now, although I am looking forward to every milestone, I am already missing the tiny little man he was!

His skin is, well, worse. He is very active, and although he does seem to be attempting to be gentle, he is constantly moving and squirming. His hands and feet, of course, are still the worst. But, he has sores all over his legs now. I try to keep it under control, but I find that it is oftentimes an effort that becomes useless. Some days when I go to change his bandages, there are dime sized blisters on his feet...his heels are just blisters under layers of scabbed callouses. I try to debride them the best I can, but to no avail, he just gets more and more. The good news is that as many times as I find new blisters, there are lots of scabs that I must take off from old ones. It is a never ending battle. I have been finding myself being frustrated a lot lately...like I want to enjoy this time with him but I am secretly praying to fast forward to when he is walking and no longer needs hours of bandage changes and poking. He is so patient and good during boo boo time, but I know he hates it...I know it hurts him. I wish he was able to go sockless and not hurt himself. He is so apprehensive when I take the bandages off at night. He guards those little piggies, like he is scared that someone is going to accidentally hurt him. I just wish he didnt have to go through this. I got through it, I just wish my little man could play with his toes and kick like he wants to. Sometimes we put pillows under his feet and let him go to town!! He loves it...but then I look under the bandages and there are blood blisters from the kicking and pressure. I really try to let him be a baby, but I hate when I am letting him do something that I really know I shouldn't be letting him do and suddenly he cries or I look and there is a new blister. I have came to the conclusion that it is what it is. And as crazy as new sores make me...they heal...they eventually heal. I haven't cried in a few months...so this must be a step in the right direction. We are going through bandaging supplies like diapers lately, since he is broken out and bigger. Our insurance is not picking up the tab, and it is getting to be awfully stressful around here. I am hoping that things turn around, because we cannot afford the costs. It is costing about 800$ a month just in bandaging. Not to mention the astronomical amount of diapers, wipees, ointments, medicines, and creams. I wish I could work to absorb some of this cost, but that is impossible right now...I could not risk someone not taking care of him like I do. I am on constant alert for new sores. I am constantly preventing infection in his hands, which are pretty heavily blistered as well. He touches everything now, so I have been fighting with red and pus filled blisters daily. I have been able to avoid systemic antibiotics, but I pray that he gains the dexterity to not fumble and hurt his hands soon, because it is just a matter of time until the bleach soaks and vinegar soaks don't make it. We have staved off psuedomonas, staph and some form of yeast using non-pharmaceutical methods...by this age I had already been on many courses of antibiotics. So, even though I believe that the bandaging hinders the healing in some aspects, it has made it very hard to colonize infection, so all in all, I am stating that it is working better than not.

On the brighter side, he likes his baths now. I can make him laugh and smile by singing the "Little Bar of Soap" song. He just doesn't get tired of that one. The rest of my household probably does, but he laughs every time! He has started eating solids...one day he likes something and the next day he doesn't. It isn't easy trying to figure out his eating habits. He is very, very spoiled. He gets what he wants when he wants it because we want to make his life as enjoyable as possible. We want to make up for the pain by giving him security and pleasure...and I do have to say that I think we are doing a good job. I always needed someone to tell me "Melissa, you are doing great" to validate my efforts. With being Liam's mommy...I don't need any of that. I know I am doing the best job that ANYONE could do for him. I am his Mommy and I am a good mommy. It is by far the most rewarding career I have ever had. He loves me so much. When I leave the room, he stares at where I left until I come back...and when I do, he puts his arms in the air. If he is feeling needy, he cries when I stop talking or leave the room and all I have to do is reappear or make noise and he quiets right down. He is definitely a momma's boy!